Body Image

So, if I remember correctly, I owe you all a big announcement?

Well, it’s more of a big thing for me than for you, but since this is a food and fitness blog, I figure this is worthy of a “big announcement” status

So……I actually think I am (FINALLY) happy with my weight!!!!  People, I have been down on myself for 4 1/2 years for not being at my goal weight of 117!  When Chad and I got married 5 years ago, I was 117 and was SO happy.  I maintained it for almost a year actually but then slowly gained 10-15 pounds (depending on the week) and have been trying to lose it ever since.  Back when I was 117, I was on Weight Watchers and was very, VERY strict with my points.  I had a lot of self control because I loved the results and it came relatively easy to me to say “NO” to sweets, etc.  Slowly but surely, that turned into me having “some of this” and “some of that” and before I knew it, I was totally OFF any counting program.  Ever since, I have had such an emotional relationship with food and exercise and everything I did, was to try and get back down to 117.

Finally 2 weeks ago after a very frustrating weigh-in at my weekly Weight Watchers meeting, a light bulb went off in my head…..I currently weigh 124 and I am NOT fat!  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think I was fat…not at all actually.  I just didn’t think I was “as small as I wanted to be and as small as I had been”.  Well, hello, I’m also 4 years older!  So not only has my metabolism probably gotten slower, our lives have also gotten much busier.  That means more weekends away, more birthday parties, more cookouts, etc.  I basically had gotten to the point where I looked at our (FUN) busy upcoming schedule and instead of me being excited about all the fun things we have coming up, I was looking at it as a depressing summer because there were so many situations where we’d be eating out, etc and I was never going to lose those last 7 pounds.

This leads me to my other big announcement……for the first time in 7 years, I am not counting POINTS or CALORIES!!!!  Guys, this is HUGE for me!  Yes, I’ve taken some time off from counting here and there, but it was more to let myself go hog wild and eat what I want and not care   This time is different (I hope…..).  This time (I hope…..) it’s for good.  A big part of all this has been the Naturally Thin book I am currently reading that has popped up all over the blog-osphere.  It is amaaaaaazing and is basically showing me all over again how to eat like a normal person.  Brilliant!  I’ve been putting Bethany Frankel’s words of wisdom into practice for 2 weeks now and I must say, it’s going really well and I have maintained my weight, which is my goal.

I had a love/hate relationship with food and kept finding myself binging at times because I deprived myself of the foods I loved and it ended up backfiring on me…..a LOT!  I know it’s only been 2 weeks though so I wasn’t going to even say anything on the blog until it had been 1, 2, even 3+ months but you know what?  This is why I have the blog: for you guys to see me through my ups and downs……if I fail, I fail….so what.  I think for everyone, the most important thing for you to lose or maintain your weight is to find what works for you.  Up until now, counting is what worked for me.  I actually liked counting and it definitely helped me lose weight, but I don’t think it’s realistic for the rest of my life…but that’s me.  Again, we’ll see.  I really hope it works for me to not count because I’m trying REALLY hard to get my relationship with food back to normal.  I’ve been WAY too obsessed for 7 years and I have honestly felt so free these last couple of weeks!

BUT….I really don’t think it would have worked for me if I hadn’t decided that I am finally happy with my body.  I almost cried (okay, maybe I did) when I actually looked in the mirror for the first time and looked at my LEGS as a source of power to help me through my runs instead of cursing them every day for being my problem area…..when I looked at my ARMS and saw what they could do instead of hating my triceps…..and the list goes on.  It was so freeing, to say the least.

Again, I hope this all lasts.  I can’t promise that it will, but I hope it does.

Okay, so there you have it!  That’s my big announcement   I will keep you all posted!!

I hope you have a great start to the week tomorrow (is it just me or do weekends go by even faster now that it’s FINALLY nice outside???).